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I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon recently in my marriage counselling rooms: increasing numbers of people claiming to be in love with two people at once.
Sometimes it’s an unappreciated wife and mother who has started an affair with a sympathetic guy at the office.
The final ingredient in this heady mixture is the divorce boom of the 1970s and 80s, which has turned into a fear-of-intimacy epidemic in the 21st century.Unfortunately, Kate couldn’t stop thinking about the other man – whom she saw almost daily and believed herself to be in love with – and her husband was anxious that she was going to leave, frustrated that his own love for her wasn’t enough, and completely humiliated. They tend to be in their late 30s and early 40s, intelligent, sensitive and only too aware that they’re hurting both themselves and the people they love. Why is it more often women than men who suffer from this problem? The first reason is the modern trend for men and women to be close friends.It’s good that we no longer live in segregated worlds – it helps us understand each other better – but it can be hard to know where friendship ends and falling in love begins. And there’s nothing wrong with friends supporting each other.Up to that point, he had been so self-contained and undemonstrative that she genuinely thought he wouldn’t care.However, after a long conversation, they came to me to work on their relationship.
And many offices and workplaces seem to thrive on intrigue and flirting.